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Learn to
relax and you"ll find you have enough time
This
article appeared in www.newenglandnews.com on
2/1/2004.
Women's roles have
taken a sharp turn through the last few decades.
Those who were once housewives are now chief
executive officers or even astronauts. Women have
moved courageously into diverse super roles.
In balancing super roles and family demands, women
burn the candle at both ends. A major concern is
lack of time. For many, it is like running a
marathon with a laptop in one hand, a phone in the
other, a child on the shoulder, and a boss on your
back - along with the expectations of oneself and
others. The inevitable will happen: The back is
bound to break.
Women are built to be strong, both emotionally and
mentally. It is not that they don't have the
reservoir of strength within to keep the balls up in
the air, but that they often dishonor, under-use and
misperceive time.
Honoring Time
Time is dishonored when spent on empty talks,
draining relationships, unwanted phone calls,
unforgiving painful memories, or self-sabotaging
addictions. Women must consider how much of their
time is spent on productive, versus destructive,
behaviors, activities and thoughts. Mental and
emotional energy is dissipated when engaged in
destructive activities. Honor the self by
disengaging from time- and energy-losing activities,
first by becoming aware, then by making a conscious
choice to say no and finally replace these
activities with productive ones.
Using Time
Most women want their lives to run on the expressway
to success. However, the majority of their time is
focused on future dreams or past failures, leaving
small amounts of time to effectively handle the
objectives of today. It is the proper use of time
today that will get optimal results tomorrow. It is
unheard of to work yesterday, or on a future date,
to get results today. Thus, not only is it wise, it
is extremely effective to use and invest energies in
the now.
Perceiving Time
To have a deeper understanding of how time is
perceived, listen carefully to the negative
terminology women often use in association with
time. For example:
* I don't have any time.
* Time is running out.
* I am not getting any younger.
* I wish the time would move faster.
* When will the weekend arrive?
When the above statements are repeated, it
conditions the mind to perceive time as a scarce
resource. Instead of using time wisely, women end up
losing time and energy. Furthermore, the last two
statements conflict with the idea that time is
lacking by proclaiming a devastating desire to
carelessly waste time. A cluttered mind filled with
conflicting perceptions causes confusion and blurs
our vision. Unlearn the dichotomies of preconceived
notions regarding time.
To succeed, women must abandon unproductive and
destructive habits that keep them stuck. Though the
way women honor, use and perceive time is an
acquired habit, it is never too late. The investment
of time made today to unlearn what does not work
will clear up cluttered minds and energize and
balance life.
To rid yourself of old habits and create new ones,
the mind needs to be disciplined, as it will fight
to return to its set ways. In the beginning, start
small:
* Set aside 15 minutes of uninterrupted time a day
for yourself.
* For the first few days keep a log of what doesn't
work in your life until you can't think of further
problems.
* Pay special attention to things that bother you,
as these are the clues to your inner state of being.
* If you can't get to the bottom of bothersome
situations, don't beat yourself up. Instead seek a
life coach.
* Next, write how you would want your ideal life to
be.
* Now stretch the 15 minutes to 25 and in that time
do something you love - take a walk, dance, practice
yoga, meditate, do Tai Chi, paint, sing, etc.
When women engage their minds in something they
enjoy, their level of concentration increases,
resulting in increased vitality.
Spending time relaxing on a regular basis will
eventually dissipate negative memories and fuel
women with the life force they need to handle all
their responsibilities.
Relaxed minds move effortlessly toward desired
results, while cluttered minds keeps women stuck. By
giving themselves the gift of time, women are
honoring and using the most precious resource they
have - the woman within.
Over time, relaxation will cause tainted perceptions
to lose their tight grip on the mind. One day, in
the middle of chaos, the memory of bliss experienced
during relaxation will kick in automatically without
any effort. That will be the test of time and women
will know that the newly-found habit is here to
stay.
Don't stop. Keep the practice going. Just as bodies
require food, minds require relaxation. The daily
practice of relaxation will ensure that you
effectively meet your increasing demands. Most
importantly, it will allow self-expression in what
you choose to do.
Neerja Bhatia is the founder of Rhythm of Success, a
company dedicated to empowering women by unleashing
their hidden talents and inner wisdom. She may be
reached at
nbhatia@rhythmofsuccess.com
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